Gallipoli

 The men stood in the trenches

waiting for that terrible sound
The shrill whistle would soon tell them to die
They stood next to their mates
.... but they each stood alone
with no one to share the fear
that tore at their guts.....

The officer stood alone....
he would not climb the ladder
Climb the ladder and look over the top
at the merciless torrent of unseen death?
No.... not him.
He would stay below to make sure
that those men would climb....
that the men would climb and die.

Why did those men accept that death?
Why should they accept those insane orders?
The stupidity of the generals
who would send the men to die.
Those deaths had no value....
The dying men bought nothing with their sacrifice.

I wonder who would the bravest be....
the one who died for nothing?
.... or the one who would challenge the officer....

If you must order us to die, then lead us!

Be the first to face those bullets....

Show us how to die.

© Ian Croft May 2021

It must have felt great!

The photo is of long ago

smiling faces all in a row

There's Alan.... and there's John...

They were so good in footy

... part of every team.

You remember the day the image was captured

... it reminds you of good times

.... and friends who shared your feelings. 

I remember the pain

The pain of hiding from those tormentors

I remember the laughing faces.... who inflicted pain

It must have felt great to do that... 

.... to trap the ones who could not hide

To hit and humiliate 

To share the feeling with mates

.... the power of knowing that the victim 

is powerless.... and weak

It must have felt great to do that. 

OK... next photo.... 

This one is a staff photo.... 

Those teachers were so good.... 

full of knowledge and encouragement. 

You remember them well. 

I remember them too..... 

I remember the teacher who delighted in the power

.... to catch those boys and to able to punish... 

to inflict pain.... 

..... swinging that length of hose 

must have felt so good. The little boys surely deserved such pain.... 

I can remember the smile on his face.... 

It must have felt great to do that. 

I wish that I could look at the photos

and feel the way that you do. 

It would feel great to do that.

© Ian Croft May 2021

Light

Sometimes it seems impossible
that a ray of sunshine can pierce the clouds
Darkness will always defeat light .... or so it seems
The clouds are sometimes so dark
that I'm sure they must be solid!
Yet at other times the clouds are brilliantly white
..... and still the clouds stop the light?

Then I realise that if the light had been defeated
then I would not see the clouds!
The light ..... in defeating the darkness ....
allows me to see the dark clouds
The light also shows me the beauty
and magnificence of the towering clouds.

My depression can be like the clouds....
So dark and heavy that I feel that I cannot bear their weight.
Then you remind me that I only know depresion
because I also feel the absence of that weight!

I must rejoice in the clouds .... look on the dark times

with the power and joy of light.

© Ian Croft April 2021

Freebies

I gather the discards from other lives

.... sweet little gifts that fall

from the Gumtree around me

Things that you don't need.... 

I can turn those unwanted items

into treasure..... built into the project

We each have freebies that we can't touch

.... an endless supply of the feelings and moments

........ and the funny thing is that when I give

them to you, sometimes I find that

we share them.... you want them

and when you hold them, I find that

I'm holding you! 

So take these freebies that I offer you

.... and if you find that this freebie

is something you cherish... 

then hold me and share the freebie. 

The restaurant of magic

House in a valley

People bring their soul and share

a moment of their lives

Snapshots of eternity

each one a piece in a kaleidescopic jigsaw

The food is a distillation of the thoughts

and experiences of each diner

.... perfect for the moment

and an inspiration for the future

The conductor is at the same moment

a composer, an inspiration, a writer, a muse

The music of this place is a symphony

of infinity..... the patrons are the orchestra

... and each one will be touched

at the core of their being. 

Dream

Dreams are like clouds....

drifting through our life

They draw me onward....

ever upward

..... but should I touch that dream?

It's longing made of nothingness

When my hand tries to touch

then the dream is illusion

I saw you once again

and the memories cut me

.... bleeding and so real

I want to live those memories again

Why can't you hear me? 

Close to my heart

Some words are so precious.....

I hold them in my heart and I often

hear them again.

Each time I hear those words

the pleasures explode anew in my mind

and it feels as though time

has rewound..... and I can feel you close again.

Some words are not precious.....

and they bring back pain

When I hear those words in my memory

it feels like winter.... with freezing cold and rain

I wish I could forget those words

but my memory torments me at times.

It opens the door to the past

and makes me relive the bad times too.

As time moves on I find that

the good memories grow sweeter....

.... the bad memories grow bleaker

But I can sometimes touch the bad memories

without feeling the cutting pain.....

The pain is fading now

and the sweet flowers are covering the pain

with their beautiful fragrance.

Life is getting better. 

Destruction

[..... the victim speaks] 

My dreams are gone....

dreams shattered in a few fleeting moments 

when you forced your brutal lust

on my vulnerable body.

In my innocence I had no understanding 

of what you did.... only the pain. 

The pain shocked my mind and my body

I couldn't have resisted even if it was possible

For you I was a thing

.... you didn't care that the person I thought I knew

had been destroyed in those moments

My dreams destroyed

... the image I held in my mind

could never never do such a thing to me

You were my special one.... my idol... 

but you smashed my image... 

... smashed my dreams

And now there's an aching hole in my heart

that I used to hold you in.... 

Gone..... gone.... you are gone

and the leering face can never

take the place... 

you used to hold

The destruction is complete.

© Ian Croft September 2019 

Once....

[...... on aging]

Once I was young and bold

... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound

Now I feel decrepit and old

.... leaping a puddle is the best I've found

Once I could solve complex issues

..... now I can barely open a box of tissues

I used to climb tall ladders with speed

.... now to mount two steps, assistance I need! 

Oh for the joys of youth

.... I think I've lost them

and that's the truth

Now I sit in my chair and nod

.... perhaps to the letter box

with weary step do I plod

But for all the trials an aging body brings

there are many times that my spirit sings

Watching my child with her exuberance 

... seeing her love for me and her mother

These are joys to compare with no other

So I'm content in these days..... 

They're the best of all

...... that's what I says!


© Ian Croft September 2019 

Welcome

[... contemplating a cancer diagnosis]


Welcome friend....

... I've been waiting for you.

Your arrival brings a fresh pleasure

..... although your presence is not welcome

you bring an appreciation of all

 that I have been blessed with in my life.....

The people I have known and loved.... 

.... the experiences I have lived

All the memories have new value now

..... because you are here

..... and my remaining days 

might yet taken by you. 

So I am mindful of your touch

I can feel you within me. 

You have grown large..... 

and made your presence felt. 

Though you're part of me

I will tear you from my body. 

The memories you bring to life

are very welcome..... 

.... but you.... are.... not.


© Ian Croft August 2019 

The world within

{..... mindfulness}

Breathing in..... my mind sinks down
Slowly, slowly I become aware
..... aware of sensations.... of feelings
that are so often lost.... lost as flotsam
in the sea of busyness
.... moment by moment my slowing mind
allows the universe to overcome the busyness
and the urgency of my world

Creation is all round me.....
.... and it's within me....
It's waiting for me to stop...
... to slow down and accept

In accepting I will become whole
.... whole because I am part of creation
and creation is part of me

Where I once was separated and alone
I can now become aware
of my place in the universe

Is this something that I dare?
Can I reach out and become that being?
Moment by moment...... I am

© Ian Croft August 2019 

Wanderers

We're all wanderers in these halls

.... we come and go.... and some return

We seek respite and a solace here

.... peace and calm

    ..... for that we yearn

   

And many of us find that solace here

yet many do not.... and must try again

Regardless of success or not.... 

a friendly face can be found here

.... a caring hand and willing listener

.... who can hear when we need to talk

The path can be hard at times

.... it's not easy to stir up the past

with all the hurt and the pain

But it must be done if we're to heal

.... and find a place for our mind to rest

So sit awhile with us.... 

.... listen to our thoughts

We will do anything in our power

to reach that place of rest.... 

..... We will succeed!

© Ian Croft August 2019 

At the centre

We pass in the passage

..... sharing knowledge of where

we each have traveled

We know the pain that we struggle with

and we share the hope

that here we will find 

an end to that pain 

Or.... if not an end.... then a time of rest

.... a time to find a fresh mind

to let us survive through the next time

I don't know your names

but I see your faces.....

I hear your voices walking past

I don't know your story

but I can guess what you're feeling

and I can try to share that feeling. 

So be calm... remember

Keep holding on.....

..... the pain will come to an end

Hold on to the hope you have

..... hold on..... hold on

© Ian Croft August 2019 

Dreams

Sailing on a sea of wistfulness
... driven by winds of hope
The ship of dreams carries us onward
.... ever moving from despair to joy
since the moment we became aware

..... but will the ship that sails so well
ever reach its destination?
The ship has a motley crew....
.... all our mem'ries are aboard
and its captain is our desire....

The things which we desire
guide the course of this fine ship
.... and the things we have experienced
are the crew that keep the sails trimmed

And so we sail through life
.... all is well till the tempest comes
and blows our ship of dreams
far from its course.

Then the crew will look to their captain
.... to give them hope and purpose
.... to bring the ship to to its home
and the dreams? Perhaps to reality.....
.... perhaps to nought
but should those dreams come to nought
... still the dreams will have sailed the sea of life.


© Ian Croft August 2019 

Revive

[..... a shared quest]

The well is dry
The thoughts are not flowing
.... the quest we have embarked on
cannot end unknowing

The end of our quest
may be a time of rest
.... or it may be the failure of touch
which will bring our feelings to dust

This is a risk we must take
..... that we might be unable to make
that leap of renewal
... to create a beautiful jewel
of perfect emotion

That emotion no longer damaged and marred
by the violence of the actions which scarred
your heart so long ago.....
.... pain which only you can know

.....but in this we may succeed!

And in that success
you would find great joy
You'd be able to feel... to connect
.... your senses able to perfect
the emotions you thought were lost

This is my hope for you
.... that our quest
will create a new life
.... and your heart..... renew.


© Ian Croft August 2019 

I feel like writing....

The urge is there this morning

I've only just stopped yawning.....

... and I want to create!

The thoughts whirl round

and it's almost as if they

make a loud sound

..... clamoring to take their place

on the screen.

Once they form a shape

they jiggle round and fit themselves

into their proper place

.... Then they're happy.....

.... cos they gain meaning

Isn't that a bit like us? 

We get thrown onto the page of life

and we wiggle and jiggle.... 

.... finding just where we fit into life... 

..... and family.... and community

.... and relationships 

And till we find our place

.... where we fit

then we're not comfortable.... 

.... it's just not right!

But then we find our place.... 

... our role in life

and we become part 

of the poetry of life.

© Ian Croft August 2019 

Fantasy fortress

It rises above the barren landscape

.... the finely sculpted walls protect

.... shielding the creator from the reality

of the surrounding world

Inside the crystal walls is a wonderland

of warmth and gentle breezes

No jarring noise can disturb the peace within

..... and no cruelty can exist there

It's a place of fantasy.....

... created by the mind within

Circumstances magically mesh

in perfection..... no pain here

The outside landscape is a fantasy too....

all is more bleak.... and more horrible than reality

Everything inside and out.... all is fantasy

and unreal.....

No loneliness here..... hearts can touch

and meld into connective delights

..... constant happiness and harmony

No arguments or discontent

..... can jar the calm

Oh.... if only it were real

.... my heart aches for this fantasy

but I know it cannot be so

... it cannot be so

© Ian Croft August 2019 

You are loved

[..... remember]



The years will unfold for you
..... memories will become layers
in your mind as experiences build for you

Through it all.....
..... when you're tempted to feel sad
Remember.....
..... remember that you have been loved
.... that you have been counted as special

Times will come when you feel down
.... when there's little reason
to wipe off that frown
.... but in those times.... remember
... remember that you have been loved
.... that your amazing spirit and mind
have been loved and appreciated

.... and I?
..... I will be forever thankful
that you touched my life
.... that you touched my heart

© Ian Croft July 2019 

Where to now?

[..... to a friend]

Beautiful creature full of life
... you've paid such a huge price
to be walking this earth
They stole your innocence
with their callous violence
and their heartless rejections
....... stab you still

For a time it seemed
they might succeed
in taking your spirit as well...
.... but no..... your spirit now soars!

But the violence you've suffered
has left deep scars
The scars are not in your skin
... they're in your soul
and you've been robbed of precious dreams
and robbed of feelings of joy

Pleasure which should have been yours
has been blocked from your life
by the endless endurance
of mindless spiteful strife.

..... and now?

You're facing a choice......

You can either accept their victory
and accept that they have stolen your feelings

or you can reject what they've done to you
and claim back your feelings.....
...... claim back the pleasure

It's your right! It's your life!
Take the feelings into your mind.....
Don't let the death of your pleasure
be the bastards continuing victory

© Ian Croft July 2019 

Down in the hole

It's such a lonely place.....

.... down in the hole.

Friends talk to me from the edge above

.....  but the sides of the hole

are sheer..... and so slippery

They can't climb down.....

..... and if they could climb down

then they'd be in the hole too!

That might not be so lonely....

but we'd still be there in the hole

There's talk of finding me a ladder!

.... to take away these terrible feelings

and let me climb out

I hope it works.....

.... I'm so... so tired of feeling like this.