Battle

[about the fight between lovers]

I'm sitting in my trench... and you're in yours
I'm sitting deep in the mud of my hurts and pain
.... my thoughts drag me down so I feel insane
I'm not game to poke my head above this hole
You might shoot me if I did ....

So in fear I close my eyes
and blindly fire my missiles across the gap
between the trenches ... twixt you and I ....
My bullets fly .... fly without aim
I must shoot ... but I don't know why.

We fire our guns and the bullets fly
..... and the noise is all round
The violence tears my soul apart
You hurt me and I hurt you
The pain of what I do to you
I know how I tear you too

I don't know if your trench is full of mud....
I wish I could look
to see if what I feel is what you feel.
Why don't I stop ... and think?
Stop.... and feel what you feel?
Why can't I wear your shoes for just a while
and hear your heart voice as it speaks?

We both want to hear
We both want to see
Why can't we stop the fight
.... stop the noise and violence

Lets have a truce
A moment of peace in the midst of the noise
so we can see each other
Wipe off the mud and look at each other
I want to hear your heart
You want to hear mine
Lets just stop ...... and listen.

© Ian Croft February 2019

Who cares?

[Daily life]

Everyone is rushing
Pushing shoving
Gotta get in front
I can't miss out on my share
Let me past
Can't you see
I mustn't be last one
Don't you care?

Don't tell me what you need
My kids are screaming for their feed
Crowds like this are what I hate
I'm sure that this will make me late
Don't you care?

What is it about life today?

that traps us in such a cycle

of endless pressure and stress?

Can't we stop for a moment and breathe?

Perhaps I can use what I have learned

from the First Truth of the Way?

To recognise that this sad stress does exist!

Think about that stress and learn

What is it? What is it doing to me?

Then this will teach me to know

where the stress came from

This is the Second Truth ...

that there is a cause

.... and if there is a cause, then

there can be an end to the stress

That's the Third Truth

.... and the bewdy is the Fourth!

... that there's a way out

The Fourth gives me the eight things

that I must think about

Yay!

© Ian Croft February 2019

Glass

[We often have kookaburras trying to fly through closed windows]

Glass is solid this I know
but the poor kookaburra ... he don't know
He thinks that because he can't see it
... that he can fly through it!
.... and WACK ..... he finds that he can't.

It's a frequent mishap in our house ...
... we jump up in great alarm
It's just the kooka ... we can relax
while Mr Kooka ... he tries again
to fly straight through the glass

He sees the fly on the other side
and attacks! ... only to meet the solid glass
I wonder what he thinks each time
as he is stopped by apparent nothing?
"Why?" says he ..... as he tries and tries
He knows what should be .... so he tries again

The true owners of this land

butt their head against the transparent barrier

of our unthinking indifference ....

Can you feel what they must feel?

This land is part of them .... and once was theirs

to roam and breathe.

Now we deny them dignity in life

with the glass that keeps them from their past.

Lets accept that the land once was theirs ....

...and it was taken from them!

Lets make the treaty that should have been

so we all can love this land together.

© Ian Croft February 2019

Harleys

(An tribute to my WLA Harleys)

There are lots of Harleys on my mind
Fat ones, black ones, chrome and bright
They've been riding through my mind
Since I was twenty and Walla number one 

was found in a rubbish heap

I rebuilt that Walla with love over years
and since then there have been plenty

But no one rode a Harley
In the year nineteen seventy

In those days I rode alone
cos a Harley was rubbish 

.... in those days I rode alone 

among the Kwaka triples
and the Honda fours

But now the Harley is supreme
and everywhere I look
a Harley can be seen
I even have a WLA on my shelf
to remind me of my love

And every day I wonder
Can my aching hips still
let me ride again?
Can my mangled wrist
Still grip the throttle and twist?

Do I dare to ride again?
To feel the wind
Above the thump
of the wondrous double pump.

Oh dare I? Could I try?.....
.... do it once again? 

© Ian Croft February 2019

Purple shorts

(I was challenged this morning .... to write about my purple shorts!)

 I really feel so good
in my purple shorts
It probably makes a weird sight
strutting my stuff in them
but strangely that dread verdict
doesn't enter my thoughts ....
I'm just happy
in my purple shorts

I found them in a back street
downtown in fair Ubud
The seller wanted eighteen
and I couldn't face that price
so we haggled and gaggled
and settled on fourteen
and I proudly walked away
with my purple shorts

It was during the Elders Way
and I'm sure the other guys
wondered what had struck me
that I'd wear such garish garb

But I didn't mind ......
For once I was free of that awful weight .....
of peer opinion and gleeful disdain

I'm now free ....
while I'm in my purple shorts 

© Ian Croft February 2019

Autism

When she was first diagnosed
I learned that "Autism is not a word
.... it's a sentence."  
It's over 12 years since that time
..... and I'm learning that the word "sentence"
doesn't have to mean a jail sentence......
it can also mean "a set of words that is complete in itself".

And the sentence can mean anything I intend.

She is showing me that she can grow into a beautiful person.

© Ian Croft February 2019

The Mini-Me

The struggle of learning to forgive my younger self

I did some stupid things
when I was young
I kick myself and rant and rave
I'll probably take them with me to the grave.

There was this time when I....
... and that time when I said .....
I catalogue all my sins
and in misery hang my head
when I leaf through those sins
and remember just how bad I've been.

I never tell another soul about those things
Cos the "me" of now
says "Mini Me -You stupid cow!"
Those things weren't really that bad
They were nothing much in the scheme of things
they shouldn't make you quite this sad!

But logic of that grand scale
really doesn't help at that depth.
Mini-me lives so far down that he doesn't hear
the lovely sound of "You're OK!"

I wish that "Me" could somehow communicate
with "Mini-Me" and say
"It's OK ... you were learning ... you didn't know ....
I forgive you Mini-Me .... come and have a hug from Me"

© Ian Croft February 2019