Harvest time

[Good memories of driving trucks]

The golden grain flows into the header bin
gathered from the stalks by the huge jaws
From the header bin to the truck bin
the grain flows like water

The truck is now loaded and I begin the task
of guiding it across the paddock .....
and round the bush to the road.
Once on the road I can get out of first gear
and slowly work up to a safe speed
on the slow trek to the distant railway siding.

Not too fast!..... Watch that bump!....
... have to be careful not to damage the suspension.
When the truck is loaded to the max
every little thing on the road
becomes a potential danger.

Corner coming up.... gotta slow down
Do it early so the brakes don't overheat
Round the corner.... into town....
out to the silo... join the queue....
wait your turn at the weighbridge.

Down from the cab and bat the breeze...
See how the neighbors crop is going.
Gee it's hot! Wotcha doin this weekend?
Familiar faces fill the time .... perhaps a bite?
Then it's my turn to get the truck
onto the wobbling platform.

After weighing I move the truck onto the dumping grid.....
... down the grain floods in a tremendous rush.
Into the mouth of the conveyor machine .....
and then up onto the huge pile ....

... my load is no longer mine ....
It's just part of that ocean of grain
that is flowing from farm to the kitchen table!

These were happy times for me .....
Sharing the work on the farm.
Those days are long gone now ....
but the memories linger on.

© Ian Croft March 2019

Till I die

[To my lovers]

Till I die.... I will love you
but that's not saying much
cos I've not got long to go!

Till I die.... I will cherish you
and hold you in my heart

I wish I could hold
this moment too
Turn it in my hand and relive
the intense feeling
that you have given to me

I wish I could explain
how you make joy rain
to water the forest
that I explore

Till I die..... 

© Ian Croft March 2019

Frustration

[Sheesh!]

We are constantly bewildered
by the contradictions
we are fed..... by the pollies
..... and the media
We want them to tell us the truth
but we're so confused by the constant lies
that we don't know when we are being told truth

We're powerless to make a change
so we live in constant frustration.
Our children disconnect....
We disconnect....
How can we escape from this maze? 

The big players are blinded
by their addiction to power....
Re-election.... market share..... polls
All are fantasies designed
to keep us confused
while they play their games
to keep themselves in power. 

Shame on them..... Shame
The planet is suffering from their game
... and we poor plebs
shudder in horror at their thoughtless depravity
As Nero fiddled while Rome burned
so they fiddle with their egos
while the world turns.
Damn you pollies!  Wake up... please....
before your arrogance dooms us all. 

© Ian Croft March 2019

Uncertainty

 [the agony of indecision]

Where to from here?
Every now and then I come to a cross road in my life
when a path that I've been following
reaches its natural conclusion
and the way forward is not clear.

I guess I'm not alone in this....
it's something that we all deal with.
Sometimes the choices are clear
and we know which way to go.

But at other times we struggle
with choices that are hazy
and we can't decide
If we should stride forward
.... or cover our head and hide
It all seems so daunting....

I look behind at the road that I've traveled
and wonder if it has been good enough
.... have I passed the test
that the ever present watchers
always put me through.

I look forward to the uncertain future
....  will the watchers allow me
to travel the way I want to go?
When I get there... then I'll know. 

© Ian Croft March 2019

Expression

[The joy of writing]

It's amazing how expressing myself
is turning into a real habit!
From a lifetime of silence
where I literally struggled to speak
...  and writing more than one sentence
was a sentence of another kind....

Now I find joy in my words
and the fact that other people
find interest in my thoughts?
.... that's so good.

Even better is the knowledge
that my experiences.... my thoughts
.... can be valued... and be helpful
... to others that have walked
a similar path through their life.

So many damaged lives.....
so many wounded souls.....
..... hearts that ache
The difference that I can make
feels like rain on a parched desert...
        .... to me!

© Ian Croft March 2019

Ticking down

[How much time is left?]

The clock is ticking down
... not long to go now
It's been such a long battle
... years of living the same moments
over and over..... always the same
A living nightmare.. in past tense

In recent days I've come to know
just how sweet life can be

My surface mind knows....
and yearns ... for that sweetness
in the time it has left.

Not much time left now....
I gotta cram in the experiences
... if the aging body will let me!

The bastards stole my time....
... scattered my moments
across oceans of torments.
Now I know just what they took
and I want a few more pages in my book.
... a final chapter? A few more pages
before I reach the final cover?

© Ian Croft March 2019

Forgiveness

[The problems in relationships]

Relationships can be tricksy things
Just when you think that all is cool
some wrong word or deed
jumps in and ... WHAM! ...
you're in the dog house begging for a feed.

You struggle to understand
just how could things go so wrong?
I guess it's like an axle that's  been turning too long
.... without some lube ... from the familiar tube...
the dreaded squeek is sure to start!

It starts as a little squeek and you think
.... "It'll go away ... I'll just ignore it."

The same way ... in a relationship we each feel
... "somethings wrong ... but I'll just ignore it."

Just as the little squeek soon
turns into a deafening screech
So the little something that's ignored
soon becomes  the dreaded coldness
that blows in like a blizzard
..... and we gape at the sudden chasm
that has ripped open between us.

What do we do?  How can we bridge
that crippling crevasse?
We need a bridge! .... not a wooden one
..... nor a steel one.  It's not strength
that's needed....   it's openess
and being vulnerable.

Whatever that something was....
accept that "WE" is more than "ME"
Will you forgive me?
Forgiveness is the bridge...
our future is on the other side.

© Ian Croft March 2019