Frustration

[Sheesh!]

We are constantly bewildered
by the contradictions
we are fed..... by the pollies
..... and the media
We want them to tell us the truth
but we're so confused by the constant lies
that we don't know when we are being told truth

We're powerless to make a change
so we live in constant frustration.
Our children disconnect....
We disconnect....
How can we escape from this maze? 

The big players are blinded
by their addiction to power....
Re-election.... market share..... polls
All are fantasies designed
to keep us confused
while they play their games
to keep themselves in power. 

Shame on them..... Shame
The planet is suffering from their game
... and we poor plebs
shudder in horror at their thoughtless depravity
As Nero fiddled while Rome burned
so they fiddle with their egos
while the world turns.
Damn you pollies!  Wake up... please....
before your arrogance dooms us all. 

© Ian Croft March 2019

Uncertainty

 [the agony of indecision]

Where to from here?
Every now and then I come to a cross road in my life
when a path that I've been following
reaches its natural conclusion
and the way forward is not clear.

I guess I'm not alone in this....
it's something that we all deal with.
Sometimes the choices are clear
and we know which way to go.

But at other times we struggle
with choices that are hazy
and we can't decide
If we should stride forward
.... or cover our head and hide
It all seems so daunting....

I look behind at the road that I've traveled
and wonder if it has been good enough
.... have I passed the test
that the ever present watchers
always put me through.

I look forward to the uncertain future
....  will the watchers allow me
to travel the way I want to go?
When I get there... then I'll know. 

© Ian Croft March 2019

Expression

[The joy of writing]

It's amazing how expressing myself
is turning into a real habit!
From a lifetime of silence
where I literally struggled to speak
...  and writing more than one sentence
was a sentence of another kind....

Now I find joy in my words
and the fact that other people
find interest in my thoughts?
.... that's so good.

Even better is the knowledge
that my experiences.... my thoughts
.... can be valued... and be helpful
... to others that have walked
a similar path through their life.

So many damaged lives.....
so many wounded souls.....
..... hearts that ache
The difference that I can make
feels like rain on a parched desert...
        .... to me!

© Ian Croft March 2019

Ticking down

[How much time is left?]

The clock is ticking down
... not long to go now
It's been such a long battle
... years of living the same moments
over and over..... always the same
A living nightmare.. in past tense

In recent days I've come to know
just how sweet life can be

My surface mind knows....
and yearns ... for that sweetness
in the time it has left.

Not much time left now....
I gotta cram in the experiences
... if the aging body will let me!

The bastards stole my time....
... scattered my moments
across oceans of torments.
Now I know just what they took
and I want a few more pages in my book.
... a final chapter? A few more pages
before I reach the final cover?

© Ian Croft March 2019

Forgiveness

[The problems in relationships]

Relationships can be tricksy things
Just when you think that all is cool
some wrong word or deed
jumps in and ... WHAM! ...
you're in the dog house begging for a feed.

You struggle to understand
just how could things go so wrong?
I guess it's like an axle that's  been turning too long
.... without some lube ... from the familiar tube...
the dreaded squeek is sure to start!

It starts as a little squeek and you think
.... "It'll go away ... I'll just ignore it."

The same way ... in a relationship we each feel
... "somethings wrong ... but I'll just ignore it."

Just as the little squeek soon
turns into a deafening screech
So the little something that's ignored
soon becomes  the dreaded coldness
that blows in like a blizzard
..... and we gape at the sudden chasm
that has ripped open between us.

What do we do?  How can we bridge
that crippling crevasse?
We need a bridge! .... not a wooden one
..... nor a steel one.  It's not strength
that's needed....   it's openess
and being vulnerable.

Whatever that something was....
accept that "WE" is more than "ME"
Will you forgive me?
Forgiveness is the bridge...
our future is on the other side.

© Ian Croft March 2019

The fragile plant

(Gardening people)

Some people have green thumbs I know
Everything they touch just seems to grow
The precious seed seems to feel their touch
And it sprouts forth with eager joy
The delicate tendrils reach for the sky
.... but mine just die.... I don't know why.

Is it the soil?... too much water?
Not enough sun maybe?
So many factors... I'm sorta...
... confused.

And people are like plants in some ways
... wanting a friend I plant a seed..
and full of hope I watch and wait
... looking for those tendrils of interest
to poke through the earth that is daily life.

So many times the tiny shoot fails to show
.... and I sigh.. "One more fizzog... Oh no"
And if the seed should venture forth
then I greet it with pleasure
to encourage it north.

Then the tiny plant is watered with response
and I watch to see if the growing plant
has welcomed the water given.
If no.... it's sad and I begin again
to plant another seed
and water it with hope.

But if the tiny plant has grown
and responding interest has been shown
then I can be happy
.... the gardener is not a total failure
Perhaps this thumb is not so green
and a new people tree is on the way.

© Ian Croft February 2019

Passion

[forbidden?]

Life is a risky affair
Danger lurks at every turn
... yet the thing for which we yearn
is the passion which lights our existence.
The thing we thirst for
is a threat to our life.

Safety .... we can choose that.
Yet even as we exist in safety
we long for the adrenalin rush of passion

Addicted we will ever be
slave to our passion
... seeking that moment when we lose
our awareness of time ...
... when life's worries fade
and the only thing of which we are aware
is the thrill of touch and ecstasy

Safety .... or danger....
what will we choose?
In passion we will ever lose
our thoughts and mind...
The addiction will never allow
me to walk away ...
I am lost before I start.

© Ian Croft February 2019