Done for me?

[.... getting things right]

When I look back over the years

.....when I remember all the pain

.. the way that the past was torn from me

I think of those as the voiceless years

Unable to speak of what had been done

I retreated into silence.... 

..... and the silence retreated inside a shell

Nothing could hurt me if no one suspected

.... I was there but I wasn't 

No sound.... no telling anyone

of just what had been done. 

And so the silence grew.... 

.... and strengthened.... 

The walls of the shell thickened

....it became ever harder to speak

Then the healing began

and the walls began to crack and thin

Long years while I found my voice

and began to speak.... 

And then.... I found you!

I was astounded....

Your suffering made me 

put my own suffering 

into proportion..... 

You had suffered so much

...... and yet you had survived

.... and in your own way you had coped.

You were not catatonic..... you could speak

You told me just what had been done to you

Your example.... so painfully earned

.... is a shining proof that

 I... Can.... Do... It

Thankyou.... Thankyou.... Thankyou

© Ian Croft June 2019

Hidden

[..... don't be afraid]

You've hidden so much

of what you felt

Hidden them in the corners of your heart

You've refused to open up

.... to show me what you felt

Afraid that you'd be hurt again

I see your pain....

... let me in

into your heart again

Let me into your heart

So I can find what you've felt

..... let me into the corners of your heart

   ..... together we can feel

      ..... together we can be strong

     

Don't be afraid my love

.... your heart is my home

  .... you have the key to the door

 Unlock your heart and let me in.

© Ian Croft June 2019

Procrastination

[.... wait a while]

I'm alive because I procrastinate
Time after time....
..... moment by moment...
I find an excuse not to

There are strong temptations
.... raging feelings that would drag me down
... to take that step
..... gather the parts
..... that make the whole
all that I need to complete the task

To surrender.....
.... welcome the next step
.... the step that leads to who knows where
but it would be away from here

Away from here.....
... away from you?
No... not yet... wait a little longer
It can wait.....
Just procrastinate

.... and if I wait for a minute
then I can delay for an hour....
.... and if I can delay for an hour
then I know it can wait...
... do I rush to meet that fate?
Naaah... just procrastinate

© Ian Croft June 2019

Mystery lover

[...... advice to a future child]

Mystery lover.... I once had one...
He stole my heart but I told no-one
 

It was long ago...
... when I was young
and flowers bloomed
          inside my heart.

My daughter.... my child....
you share my heart
I speak to you now
.... your life's at the start
 

Don't be afraid of the pain love can bring
Roses are beautiful....
.... but their thorns are so sharp

When love comes knocking
at the door to your heart
.... don't be slow to let it in
 

Love's too precious to let waste away
The mystery lover might be here to stay

© Ian Croft June 2019

Holes

[.... we all have 'em]

Many of us have holes.....
Most of the time we manage
to maneuver around the hole
and live our daily life.

For most it's just one solitary hole
.... for others there are several holes
and sometimes the holes are linked....
... joined by a tunnel or even a trench

For these poor buggas,
it's hard to stay out of a hole!
If perchance they have a good time
walking on the surface....
happy for a moment...
.... then... sure as eggs the next step
will see them falling into the next hole.

For those of us with just one hole ....
the hole is often not too deep
.... and after the shock of being in the hole
the climb back out is not too hard

But if there are more holes
then we stumble into the next one!
..... and the really tough one .....
is when the holes are connected!

The poor bloke in the hole struggles
    .... and flails about ...
and usually finds the way
.... from the first hole into the next hole!

From down below the lonely bugga cries for help
.... but from above those cries grow more and more muffled
as the network of holes gets larger
     ......and it becomes so easy for people above
to ...just... not.... hear ... the cries from below

What to do? I don't know.....

© Ian Croft June 2019

Wots it all about?

[... the purpose?]

What's it all about?
Do we have a purpose?
Is there a reason that we exist?

If I don't connect with you
  ..... then I'm not sure that there is.
My purpose is to connect.....
I want to serve you
by being what you need.

If you need a listener,
then I am here......
If you need wise counsel,
then I'll try....
If you need touch,
then I will reach for you
to bridge that gap....
Skin to skin....
       Mind to mind....
               Soul to soul....
I will be whatever you need.....
     whatever you want.

I think that's what it's all about. 

© Ian Croft June 2019

If this moment.....

[..... at the end?]

If this moment is my last....
.... if all I have left is my past
...... then I am content
More than content....

I am exhilarated.

To have known you in my life
... to have shared the moments
.... the moments of joy
..... your happiness has been my happiness
your pleasure has been mine

I have known you....
.... touched your heart
and heard the small voice of your soul

.... I am content.

© Ian Croft June 2019