Fantasy

Reality is such a downer

Fantasy is much better

..... no pesky details to get in the way

   ..... I can rearrange facts to make it work

 I like it when the world is mine

 to change my world  ....

..... to fit my desires

It's so cool.

But then comes the hard part!

.... hoping that the other players

in my lovely fantasy

will play their part too!

The fantasy is that you will share....

.... that the fantasy will be yours too

    ..... and you'll be there!

Then reality strikes again....

.... the fantasy is just that....

....... a fantasy.....

And like a mist in the early morning... 

My dreams evaporate in the heat

of the dawning day.

Gone.....   gone.....

It's all gone.... 

Reality hurts so much

© Ian Croft July 2019 

My body

[..... we all have one]

My body is my worst enemy
..... and my best friend
It's the only one I have!

My body allows "me" to experience pleasure .... and joy ....
Those chemicals my body produces make my brain
tell "me"  that things are .... oh so good.
Yet the body also produces chemicals which torment ...
.... bringing desires which cannot be sated
and which bring tears of endless frustration

If I get rid of my body?

..... if it's my friend then I would be gone
No more "me" to bother "you"
No more pleasures ... and no more joy

.....but if it's my enemy then I have lost nothing
but the pain and the torment .....
and these I can do without
.... cos if that's what life is about
then aren't we better off without this living thing?

Come closer my friend .... let me feel your touch
It's so dark and cold when I'm alone ....
..... it makes me feel so old .... and tired .... and defeated

But when you are close .... when you touch my heart
I feel joy .... and I want to stay
Do you understand? .... all that I say?

© Ian Croft July 2019 

Fabulous furry felines

[.... of Squish and other cats]

A group of cats is called a clowder. 
... I don't know why ....
Perhaps because when they're all together

..... they're much, much louder? 

A group can also be called a glaring, 
particularly if the cats are uncertain of each other. 
Ha!.... I can just see them.... stalking round
.... their backs all a frizz
           ..... staring and glaring

A litter of kittens can also be called a kindle.
... so a kindle is part of a clowder!
A kindle will never be part of a glaring
because the mother cats are certain of their kittens

I wonder if I'm allow da
 ...... be part of your beautiful clowder
I hope so......

© Ian Croft July 2019

I feel like I don't deserve.....

 [.... we all suffer from this]

Guilt.....
It's an age old pain
that has been bothering us
for thousands of years.....

The really old guys just threw it away!
A "scape goat" would be loaded
with their guilt... and then the poor thing
would be driven away..... or sacrificed
.... and hey presto! .... the guilt was gone
and if the human accepts that.....
he can feel good again.
Acceptance is huge

Then along came the others.....
Jesus.... Buddha..... the Prophet....
Each had their own idea
about why and how....
Why do we feel guilt?
How do we remove that guilt?

Cos we can't live with that guilt
Guilt is an emotional millstone
.... it sits on our shoulders
and drowns us in the sea of misery

Jesus says that guilt is something
that we can't hope to remove....
.... that only God can do that
We must accept....
Acceptance is huge

Buddha says that guilt is a problem
that we must recognize...
Accept the guilt as a fact.....
Acceptance is huge

The prophet says to follow the rules
and then maybe the guilt is not there?
I hope so.....
Acceptance is huge

Whatever answer sits well in your mind
.... think about it..... accept it
Acceptance is huge
.... and acceptance is the answer

© Ian Croft July 2019

You are not alone

[.... for a friend who's in a bad place]

The sky is very dark

It feels as if the blackness and the gloom

will never go away.....

The clouds press down.....

.... and my world feels so flat

The clouds are so dark...

..... the thicker they are

the darker they look....

From where I stand underneath

it feels as though I will be crushed

In my head I know that the sun still shines

.... above the clouds the sun 

turns the blackness into shining white

But I'm underneath.... not on top

....  and I feel so flat.

But wait!

I feel a hand on my shoulder.....

.... you are here!  

You stand behind me

..... and put your arms around me

I am not alone!  I am not alone! 

If you are with me then the gloom is gone

.... and it becomes a shared time. 

I am not alone.

© Ian Croft July 2019

Words

[..... writers block]

The words are reluctant.....

.... not showing their faces

I miss them so much.

I love my words....

... the way they play on the page

They express what I feel...

Sometimes I can't speak... 

but the words that flow

will speak for me I know

But now I'm sad.....

 because the words are stuck

.... blocked at the door 

they mill round in confusion

.... seeking the form and shape

that gives them life and meaning

Why? (say the words) 

Oh why can't we leap onto the page?

Joyfully dance round the hidden thoughts

.... and gently sing the sounds

that give life to his thinking

Perhaps his muse is far away

... perhaps her pain is holding us in chains

Release us please.... let us dance again

© Ian Croft July 2019

Elephant in the room

[.... dare we talk about it?]

The common view is that it's bad....

... it's wrong.... 

and we mustn't think about it

..... mustn't talk about it.

But the more I open up

and talk to others about it

the more I find that..... 

they're thinking about it too!

The dread thought!

..... the act that would take me to nought.

The thing that scares each one of us

is that we don't want pain.... 

I guess that we don't want pain 

.... in living.... or in dying

Living is a wonderful thing.... 

.... but when living is a constant 

and seemingly unending experience of pain

.... then it ceases to be a wonderful thing 

and becomes an endless torment. 

Dying is always portrayed as violent

.... painful..... to be fought against...
Why?  Why can't death be peaceful .... calm ...

..... death is part of life... 

        We will all die.... 

Why should death be seen as bad? 

Let's plan for death as a part of our life! 

.... embrace the coming end
Lets make it good! ... a time of peace ....

Share the memories of the good parts

and make this part of life 

...... a good part too.

© Ian Croft July 2019